Broken Hearts, Broken Bones
by OneWhoSitsWithTheTurtles
Summary: Thor tries his best to pick up the pieces.


**Broken Hearts, Broken Bones**

Disclaimer: I do not own the Avenges or any of the characters

Warnings: Angst, torture

Pairing: Thor/Loki

Rating: I really don't think this needs to be M, but because I'm nervous about FFnet's rating system, that's what I'm setting it as

Notes: Dedicated to elizabethan-frost-dragons(dot-tumblr-dot-com). She was one of the winners on my "500 Followers" Giveaway on Tumblr, and I did my best to fill her fic prompt. I hope she enjoys it, even though I don't think this was exactly what she was looking for *blush* haha

Summary: Thor tries his best to pick up the pieces.

* * *

The Hulk was an impressive creature to be sure; Loki would not deny it. But that didn't mean that Loki feared the Hulk or his potential to cause damage. He may be an impressive force of strength and endurance, but Loki was a god. The span of many human generations was already Loki's past and he had fought his fair share of terrifying beasts in those centuries. He knew he could be hurt, but he also knew his own power.

Which was why Loki showed no fear or hesitance as the Hulk came towards him, gave no caution to his own tongue as he taunted the beast. He was startled when the Hulk got a hold on him but even then Loki knew he would survive. It was only when his back collided with the floor, tile and stone splintering below him like fragile glass with the force, that Loki knew he had made a mistake.

He hit the ground a few more times before the Hulk threw him down with one final slam. Loki's body was cradled by stone and rubble, and Loki couldn't even find the breath to respond to the beast's returning taunt. The ground shuddered around Loki, along his body and against his spine, as the Hulk walked away and left the building to rejoin the fight for the city.

When he was alone again Loki felt something break inside him. All the remaining air in his lungs that he had managed to drag in left him in a rush. Even though his fingernails scraped weakly across the broken tile, searching for purchase, Loki couldn't find the strength to get up and carry on. The Other had caused too much damage before Loki had come to Earth – more damage than Loki had thought. Maybe it would have been okay if Loki had surrendered to the misfit team of heroes and allowed his body to heal, but this war had ravaged his body as much as the cityscape below.

Loki had miscalculated and now he would pay the price.

#

Thor's body thrummed with energy and anger, his fingers clenched painfully tight around Mjolnir's handle. His muscles burned with fatigue, a few cuts across his body stinging as an afterthought. Thor paid his injuries little mind though, his thoughts circling around his brother. Thor knew now, as he surveyed the broken city, that there was a lot in Loki's mind and heart that Thor had not noticed, or not understood. Loki had given him a few hints, speaking of shadows and family, but Thor should have paid attention sooner. Too often he had taken for granted his assumption that Loki was happy and content.

Thor felt guilty for hurting Loki however he had managed it, but that would not fully dampen his anger. So many innocent lives had been lost over a feud that should have been settled between them. The city was saved but crippled. Worst, Loki had turned into a man Thor barely recognized anymore; so full of poisonous hatred that it was contagious. Thor knew it was slightly selfish of him, but he felt betrayed by the change.

The Avengers made their way together to the top of Stark's tower, silent and slow as the adrenaline was leeched out of their bodies. No one wanted to talk about the war they had just fought; no one quite knew what to say. All of the other Avengers kept sending quick glances back to Thor occasionally, as many questions in their eyes as there was in Thor's own head. Though the general sentiment was the same.

_What's going to happen to Loki? How is he going to pay?_

Thor knew he was going to take Loki back to Asgard so that he could pay for his crimes, of that much he was certain. Thor wasn't sure what specific punishment Loki would be forced to endure, but he was sure it would be fair. What really had Thor's mind buzzing, each footfall slightly hesitated as he walked closer and closer to Loki, was how he would act around him. How would he treat Loki after this? How should he treat his brother?

He was so angry with Loki for putting him in this position, for making him choose between one of the realms he was sworn to protect and his own brother. The way Loki had behaved had also scared Thor; he had seen a side of his brother that Thor barely understood. Such recklessness and hate, but also so much internal pain that Thor had not even known was there. This added shame and hopelessness to Thor's maelstrom of emotions because he wanted to protect Loki so badly – always had, always would – but he was no longer certain of his ability to do so, or Loki's openness to him.

Thor was the first one to step into the destroyed room, shattered glass cracking under his feet where it was littered across the ground. The others stepped in behind him on either side, surveying the damage before refocusing on their target. They allowed Thor to remain ahead though, to be the first to deal with his violent brother. Thor resituated his grip on Mjolnir as he approached, his progression forward slowing to a crawl as he awaited some form of attack.

None came.

As he drew closer, Thor could take in Loki's prone form. His skin was sickly pale except for the bruises and cuts scattered about where armour would not protect him. Thor could also see that there were bruises under Loki's eyes, something he hadn't realized was there the few other times he had seen his brother while on Earth. For the first time Thor took a moment to fully regard Loki, realizing how much had changed since he had watched Loki fall away from the bridge all that time ago.

There was something different now, something heavy and sickening under Loki's skin. Thor couldn't tell what it was, but now that the war was over he was finally able to see how truly sick and worn away Loki looked. Thor had constantly wondered what had happened to Loki after he disappeared into the voids of space – had wondered if he'd ever see Loki again until news came of him being on Earth. But for the first time Thor realized that what had happened, what Loki had encountered before ending up on Earth, was probably horrible.

"Thor?" Steve asked from behind him.

"Is he playing dead?" Tony grumbled.

Thor waved them both away and set Mjolnir down on the ground. He knelt beside Loki's unmoving body, taking in more details of his abused form. Loki's hair was unkempt, his lips a pained line. His body also looked thinner, wasted away, though it was hard to tell beyond his face since the rest of him was hidden beneath his armour. Loki's eyes were currently closed, his breath quick and shallow.

"Loki?" Thor spoke slowly. Loki would never fall asleep in this sort of situation, but the thought of what could knock Loki out filled Thor with fear. He cupped a hand to Loki's cheek, shivering at the chill from his body. He knew now why Loki was never as warm as Thor was with his Jotunn heritage, but Loki had still never been this cold. He almost felt… Thor swallowed. "Brother?" he asked a bit more desperately.

There was still no response. That was when Thor grew frantic and shook Loki has hard as he dared. In return he got a pained groan as Loki's eyes fluttered open. It seemed to take too long for those normally clear and sharp eyes to focus, and Thor felt his fear mounting. "Thor?" Loki's voice cracked, sounding as though he was struggling to get each sound out. It was such a stark comparison to Loki's normally-silver tongue.

As awareness returned to Loki's eyes, Thor watched his brother glance over to take in the hovering Avengers. Then he watched Loki lift a shaking hand and reach out for his sceptre, which was resting on the tile a few feet away. Thor put his own hand on the ground to bar Loki's path but did nothing else to hinder him. His voice was softer than Loki deserved when he spoke. "Enough, Loki. You have lost."

Loki's fingers twitched and fell still on the tile in front of Thor at his words. Loki looked up at him, so much emotion in those eyes, and let out a heavy breath. Any tension in his body slipped away, his muscles seemingly uncaring even of the pain he was no doubt still experiencing. Loki suddenly looked so small in his defeat, but Thor could read relief in his brother's body. With Loki's defeat, despite the consequences he would face, Loki could finally stop and give in.

"What's wrong with him?" Natasha questioned. Thor could hear everyone's footsteps as they cautiously approached for a better look.

"He's probably faking it," Tony suggested. "Too much of a coward to face us all at once."

"Take care," Thor growled, glancing back over his shoulder at the others. He had fought alongside this group of warriors, but they were still near-strangers to him when compared to Loki. "He is still my brother."

"After everything he did to us?" Hawkeye spoke up, motioning back to the ruined city that was visible through the wall of broken glass and air. "After what he did to you?"

"Yes," Thor stated strongly. "And he is clearly no threat at the moment so leave him be."

"That's not how it works," Tony stepped closer, metal boots making a racket on the tiling. "He doesn't just get to walk away because he's suddenly hurt."

"I don't think he can walk away right now," the voice of Bruce drew everyone's attention; no one had noticed the Hulk receding in the background. Bruce had returned to his human form, hands holding up what remained of his pants. "I know the big guy did a number on him but he doesn't just look injured; he looks very sick."

"I don't care," Tony crossed his arms. "He just nearly got us all blown up and the rest of the world enslaved. It's not our fault if he caught a cold and got tossed around in the process."

"Still, he really doesn't seem like any sort of threat as he is now," Steve commented. "And I can't possibly imagine you enjoying further suffering being inflicted at the moment," he added, looking at Tony. Tony looked like he wanted to argue that but he kept his mouth closed. "For now we should get him taken care of and then he can pay for his crimes."

"Oh that sounds lovely," Loki tried to sound snarky but the words were weak. "Nurse me back to health and _then_ torture me."

"Hush," Thor scolded him, feeling his stomach twist at the thought of Loki being tortured. To his surprise Loki actually fell silent, though Thor thought this might be more to do with Loki's waning energy rather than his willingness to listen to Thor. Thor turned back to the others. "Where can we take him to recover? He is not fit to return to Asgard as he is. Nor will I let them near him right now."

"Fury would be able to provide some sort of temporary holding cell," Natasha recommended, turning her headset back on in an attempt to reconnect with the spy.

Everyone shared an uncertain look, remembering Fury's secret Phase 2 plans to create weapons. "It will have to do for now," Thor said grimly. Loki was watching him, face neutral but eyes a whirlwind of emotion. Thor held his gaze and touched his fingers hesitantly to Loki's wrist as a form of comfort. The knot in his stomach loosened slightly when Loki didn't pull away from the touch.

The group stood in uncomfortable silence as Natasha got her headset connected and began to communicate with Fury about the current situation. After she hung up and said a jet was being sent their way, everyone looked at each other again. "After we drop him off can we try that shawarma place?" Tony asked, sounding a little perkier this time. Thor just ignored him and watched worriedly as Loki drifted off to sleep, holding Thor's gaze until his eyelids grew too heavy to keep open.

#

Thor was glad Loki got a bit of rest, even though he did not really stay still, because Loki woke up immediately as soon as Thor tried to move him. The hovering jet had arrived, landing on the roof of the remaining skeleton of the Stark tower. Trusting no one else near his brother's damaged body, Thor carefully manoeuvred Loki into his own arms. Loki woke in a flash with a sharp cry of pain and a longer groan of prolonged agony. Loki moved weakly in Thor's hold, just enough to hide his face in the crook of Thor's arm.

He was quick enough to hide from the rest of the Avengers, but Thor had caught a glimpse of the rush of tears washing blood and dirt from his brother's face. Loki trembled violently even though it dragged out another, wrecked groan, and Thor cradled him close to his body to keep him from jostling too much as Thor stood and headed for the jet.

Even though Thor was supposed to be angry with Loki – _was_ angry with Loki – Thor still found himself cooing to his brother, promising that all would be well. Thor should have been frustrated with himself for coddling Loki after the destruction he had caused, but when Loki calmed in his arms Thor couldn't stop his heart from melting. Loki was still his brother and he did not wish any harm to him. So Thor ignored the others' mixed reactions to his behaviour and carried Loki to the jet, telling him that he wasn't going to disappear, that it would all be okay in the end.

Loki sniffled and relaxed and was asleep in Thor's arms by the time the jet took flight.

#

When they disembarked from the plane, Loki did not wake. At first Thor was grateful for this, knowing he could spare Loki some pain while transporting him to a place where he could rest. He got Loki settled into a small bed in a windowless cell, pulling off his layers of armour delicately before wrapping the plain white sheets up around Loki's shoulders. During the process of undressing Loki, Thor had been able to see how sallow Loki's skin was. He had also seen how much weight loss Loki had been hiding; the outline of each rib was visible.

He allowed the others to briefly drag him away, insisting that Loki was just going to sleep anyway and that there wasn't much for Thor to do. They went to get shawarma but Thor's body felt numb with worry and fatigue. Conversation was strained and as soon as they were done eating Thor returned to a chair set up beside Loki's bed. Loki hadn't moved an inch, the sheets still smooth and unwrinkled.

Thor forced himself to be patient for a few hours, knowing Loki needed the rest. When Fury came in to ask if Thor wanted another bed to sleep in, Thor shook his head and gave his thanks without even taking his eyes off his brother. After that they were left alone and Thor eventually fell into a fitful sleep in his chair. It was when he woke up early the next morning – or at least that's what it felt like, it was hard to tell without windows – and Loki still hadn't moved that Thor really began to fidget.

To distract himself, Thor busied himself with tending to Loki's wounds wherever possible. The rest of the time he sat and watched his brother, trying to figure out how he should feel. There was still anger in his heart, though it had shifted to a weightier disappointment; he couldn't believe his brother would act this way. Above it all though was a blanket of stifling sadness and worry and a desire to protect. None of the other Avengers disturbed them, which was probably for the best.

Thor eventually had to leave to get food and stretch his legs, but he returned promptly each time. He briefly ran into Fury, who told him about people beginning to rebuild the city and Dr. Selvig trying to read the atmosphere to determine when Thor and Loki should head home; Thor knew they couldn't stay much longer.

Over a full day had passed when Loki finally stirred, sheets sighing as he shifted in bed. Thor jolted out of his doze and looked up to meet those tired green eyes. Loki reached a trembling hand out toward Thor and Thor moved to sit on the edge of the bed without hesitation, taking Loki's hand in his own. "How are you, brother?" his voice was hushed.

"Not well," Loki admitted, which was surprising in itself since Loki didn't normally admit to weakness.

Thor squeezed Loki's hand, hoping it felt reassuring. He left briefly to get food and was relieved when Loki finally accepted some food and water. It was a slow start, Loki growing even paler and threatening to vomit at first. But then his body began to readjust to the food and soon the plate was empty. Thor set the plates aside and captured Loki's hand again, brushing his thumb over smooth skin. "What am I going to do with you?" he whispered somewhat hopelessly.

"Take me back to Asgard and have me tortured," Loki's voice was bland, as though he had already accepted this fact.

Thor's heart clenched. He didn't want that to happen, but what else could he do? Loki had committed so many crimes. "Why did you do it?" he couldn't stop himself from asking. "Help me to understand."

That was when Loki told Thor about the Other, the Chitauri, and everything else that had happened to him after he had fallen away into space. His words were halted, like Loki was trapped in his memories and could only occasionally find the awareness to relay them. The whole time Thor felt a mix of emotions; anger at himself for not searching for Loki, hopelessness at knowing he had been unable to protect his brother.

Finally Loki fell silent, avoiding Thor's eyes by staring intently at the wall. Their hands were still entwined. Some things were still a confusing mess to Thor, but a few things were starting to make sense. Why Loki had taken such a sudden interest in the Tesseract, the damage done to his body before the war had started. Although Loki had still committed these acts on his own, he hadn't had much choice in the matter. "Are you asking for a pardon?" Thor asked, confused. Loki had enough reasons to try to weasel out of any serious responsibility.

Loki surprised Thor by shaking his head. "No. I will face my punishment." Loki took a deep breath and looked back to their connected hands and then to Thor's face. "I am telling you all this because I regret my actions. This went on for far too long."

"What made you regret it?" Thor questioned, genuinely curious. Loki had played a lot of tricks and pranks over the year and had rarely shown remorse. "Thinking of the lives you took?"

"It would make you happier if I said yes. But no," Loki bit his bottom lip, looking conflicted. "I regret hurting and disappointing you."

Before Thor could figure out what to say to that confession, Loki was pulling Thor closer with their twined fingers. Loki's other hand rose and dug into Thor's hair and then their lips were pressed together. Thor was too stunned to do anything, his lips frozen against Loki's. After a moment he tasted salt and pulled away just enough to notice that Loki was crying silently. Without giving it too much thought, Thor kissed the tears away before meeting Loki's lips again. The kiss was soft and sweet, calm and comforting.

It was Loki who pulled away first, lying back on the sheets. Only then did Thor realize Loki had been leaning up into the kiss as much as Thor had been pressing down into it. His lips were tingling – would continue to tingle for a few hours – and there was a fluttering in his chest. He had kissed others before, but he couldn't remember another kiss that felt like this one. It was only the exhaustion and sadness on Loki's face – not the internal conflict of kissing his brother – that stilled Thor from seeking another kiss.

"I may die, brother," the last word caught in Loki's throat, choking him. "I do not know if my body will recover from what the Other did before the people of Asgard call for my punishment." Loki clenched his eyes closed, trying to fight tears. "Perhaps I deserve it. Perhaps it will be better for everyone."

"Don't speak that way. It won't be better for me," Thor said brokenly, holding their laced fingers against his chest so Loki could feel his heartbeat. "I need you."

Loki shook his head, eyes still closed, hair mussed. "You don't."

"I _do_," Thor argued, swallowing around a lump in his throat. The mere thought of living without Loki shredded his soul. He thought he had lost Loki once and he had never recovered; he wasn't going to lose his brother again. Loki had committed many crimes and he had to pay for them, learn from them. But Thor wouldn't give up on Loki, would be there to keep him strong and have open arms offered at the end of it.

Loki sighed but didn't pull away when Thor lay down on the bed and cocooned Loki in his arms. He felt Loki's body return to his normal temperature – his deathly chill receding – as Thor shared his own heat. Loki leaned into the embrace, taking deep shuddering breaths. Then Loki laughed humourlessly. "To think it all started with a little jealousy."

"What had you jealous?" Thor mumbled into Loki's hair.

Dr. Selvig, quickly followed by Fury, entered the cell then, cutting the conversation off in a rush. Thor's question hung in the air unanswered, which left a tension in Thor's body because he had a feeling that Loki's answer was important. But the doctor was talking about having to make the trip back to Asgard before it became impossible. Suddenly there was an air of immediacy and everyone began rushing around trying to get everything sorted. Dr. Selvig had pinpointed the best location for the teleportation to a park in the untouched part of the city and was getting everything prepared.

Fury looked between Thor and Loki curled up on the bed after the doctor had left, but he must have realized that there wasn't much to say. Thor and Loki were just making the situation harder on themselves. Regardless of their relationship, Loki still had crimes to answer for. The only difference now was that Thor understood Loki better, he was willing to stand by Loki's side, and Loki seemed accepting of Thor staying close.

Fury offered up a gag, sending Loki a distrustful look. Thor was outraged but Loki placed a hand on his shoulder and told him it was okay. Thor wanted to argue; it was absolutely _not_ okay. Loki's voice was his power; silencing him would be more vicious than any physical restraints. But Loki took the gag into his hands and offered it to Thor to help him. Thor refused to be a part of it and in the end Loki was the one to silence himself.

After that they were led out of the room and to another jet. He was given the Tesseract, which was still fully intact. Thor kept a hand on Loki's shoulder, offering support if needed and reminding Loki that Thor wasn't going to abandon him. Thor was surprised to see the other Avengers on the plane as well, even though few words were exchanged at the farewell in the park.

Guards met Thor and Loki at the edge of the broken Bifrost Bridge, silent escorts to Odin's throne room. Thor could tell that Loki was trying to look stronger than he felt, his body still weak from the Other and the war, but as they continued to move through the palace Loki allowed a bit more of his weight to lean on Thor. Curiosity still burned inside Thor and he wanted to ask Loki again about the jealousy that apparently started it all. But they were not given a moment alone, Thor handing off the Tesseract before they were led directly to Odin, so Thor just focused on offering Loki any support he could.

#

The initial sentence was death. Thor wasn't surprised, based on what Loki had done and the fact that Loki did not even make an attempt to defend himself. Thor was forced to recount what had happened on Earth, and none of it helped Loki's case. Thor still thought what Loki had done couldn't just be brushed aside, but the thought of Loki being killed was unacceptable. He was being selfish, but he didn't want to live without his brother. So after the initial sentence was given, Thor threw himself between Loki and the guards and did his best to defend Loki. He told Odin of the Other and the Chitauri and everything else Loki had told him but had decided not to explain to the throne room.

When Thor was done speaking, the room rang with silence. After a long time Odin spoke again. "I sentence you to ten years of silence," Odin finally gave his new decision. "You must learn to listen and to understand the power of your speech before you are allowed to utter another word on your tongue."

Thor looked over at Loki, horrified by this sentence. Even worse, he was the one who got it changed to this. It wasn't as bad as death, but it would be pretty close for Loki. But Loki just looked at him with soft eyes – the only thing Loki could do to show he was accepting of this punishment since his mouth had been covered by the gag again after he gave his explanation to the room – and touched a hand to Thor's arm as a sign of forgiveness.

#

The sentence was carried out in the grand square. Thor was furious at Odin for making it such a public display, but Thor also understood that this was as much for the citizens of Asgard as a punishment for Loki. Thor was told to leave the stage but he refused to leave Loki's side, and eventually Odin and the guards gave in. In the end it was probably more punishment to Thor for being close enough to experience Loki's suffering, rather than being far removed from it, but he had promised to stay by Loki's side. Loki needed to know that he wasn't alone anymore.

They sat Loki down in a chair and removed the gag from Fury. The skin around Loki's mouth was rubbed raw in places and bruised in others, but Loki made no move to touch or sooth it. "Any final words?" Odin said with a hint of resignation, no doubt worried what Loki's silver tongue would come up with when he had such a large audience.

To everyone's surprise, Loki turned away from the crowd and looked to Thor. "Anyone you loved more than me," were the only words Loki spoke, serious and sad in his confession.

For a second Thor was confused, all of his emotions running high with the situation and his thoughts muddled. But then he remembered his question from Earth. _What had you jealous?_ A flame ignited in Thor's chest, heating his body and setting his heart racing. This was the second thing in as many days that introduced Thor to the idea that he could love Loki as more than a companion and brother – that Loki might already love him as more. He wanted to ask Loki a million questions but the guards were trying to shoulder him away and continue with the sentence.

Thor fought them to stay by Loki's side, holding one of Loki's hands in his own. "There was no one I loved more than you," Thor stated fiercely, holding Loki's beautiful green eyes with his own. "There still isn't." He didn't care who heard him. Thor wanted to apologize for not realizing sooner, for taking Loki for granted, for so much, but the crowd was growing restless. Loki scanned Thor's face, reading him, and finally Thor saw acceptance in those eyes. Then Loki turned back to the crowd and the guards to await his punishment.

The needle pierced Loki's skin without any numbing agent; this was supposed to be as painful as it looked. The thread winding across Loki's narrow lips was terrifying, black as the shadows in nightmares against Loki's pale skin. It wasn't long before Loki's lips and skin were stained red with blood, but the guard did not even pause in his work. Tears fell from Loki's eyes and Loki gripped Thor's hand so tightly he broke two of Thor's fingers. Thor didn't even pull away, instead squeezing back as more jagged lines crisscrossed and sealed Loki's mouth closed.

Loki remained strong in front of the crowd, taking his punishment in silence even though his tears fell freely. But the majority of Loki's weight collapsed onto Thor when Thor led him back into the palace and away from prying eyes. Thor led Loki to his room and lay him down on the bed before grabbing a cloth to wipe away the blood. He was careful as he cleaned around the stitches, flesh raw and abused and bleeding. It was a horrible sight, but not as heart wrenching as it was when Loki tried to speak and gave a whimper of pain, falling silent on the bed.

Thor had so many things to say, to confess, and to ask, but now Loki would be silent for ten years. Not a terribly long time considering how long they had already lived, but long enough to make Thor's heartache and curiosity burn, long enough to make Thor cry at the thought of Loki having his strength taken away so fully. Thor decided then that he would remain silent along with Loki, stay by his side in every way he could.

Thor told Loki this. Loki tried to smile but the stitches pulled and new blood began trickling down Loki's chin. More tears fell from Loki's eyes, though whether it was from the pain or Thor's promise of silence, Thor didn't know. Thor pulled Loki into his arms and rocked him gently, stroking his hair in an attempt to sooth and distract him. Then he kissed Loki's neck softly.

Silence for ten years.

They would speak their first words together ten years from now, and Thor knew that he wanted his first words to be _I love you_. He could write it down for Loki to read – probably would – but it wouldn't be the same. Thor wanted to whisper the words in Loki's ear so that Loki could hear the love and honestly in his voice.

It was a long time to wait, but it would be worth it.

* * *

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